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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Really?

Could thing be going well? Honestly, I am asking because it always seems that I am looking over my shoulder and wondering when will shit hit the fan. Rob has been busting his ass lately making money. He hit the craigslist listings across the country and is doing well. I mean, fantastic. :) My computer dork is making a living being a dork. He actually had a company based in Brooklyn call him. He was one of TWO people they called. He is also the front runner after they talked to him company that would fly him out there to meet with him. A company that would help pay the bills in a big way... a nationally (if not internationally known) company. This could lead to a great business venture for him... if it pans out. Here is my issue... he is a man of many big dreams. I can't fault him for that. I just once would love to see his big plans happen. I know that he CAN be THE go to guy. I just haven't seen it happen. I am tired of having hopes to see them gone when he gets another great idea. I sound selfish right now, but after 5 years (almost) of hearing of all of these great opportunities, and seeing nothing... I am a bit sceptical. I am 28 with 2 kids, I have wants/dreams of my own. (Am I realizing them while working as a bartender... yeh, not so much... ) I realize that I could be going out and getting my degree... or starting the business that I want to, or getting a steady 9-5 job, and I am not. I am not doing those things at the moment because #1 it is scary as hell and I am a wimp. #2 I am not willing to let my kids be brought up by someone else at the moment. I love the fact that they only times they have been away are with my parents. #3 He likes being the provider. #4 I don't mind where I am at right now. I just wonder if by me stepping aside and being afraid to take the leaps that I should be taking will effect my dreams in the long run. (My dreams being: owning a house, getting married, having a degree, having my own event planning business, having another baby/babies.) Fingers crossed...

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