I think the time has come

As I realized that 30 is approaching a little bit quicker than I anticipated... it is time to become a big kid. Time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. It is high time that I go back to school and finally get a degree. The big question that is weighing on my mind is.... what in the heck do I want to do? I have no clue what I want to do with my life. Event planning is a possibility, the only issue there is that I have no idea how to get started. I don't even know where to begin. I would like to think that getting a job in the field would be ideal, but finding jobs are far and few between right now. (At least in Michigan.) Don't get me wrong, I like my job enough... for a job. I am getting older though, and bartending isn't exactly something that works well when you become old and moldy. People don't want their beer served by an old lady, they want hot, young, perky girls. I am already on the old end of the spectrum where I work. I am surrounded by 22 year olds. Tangent aside, it scares the crap out of me. I need to take this next step though. The idea of stepping back into a classroom and going that whole college route really makes me want to squirm. I didn't really like it in the first place, I doubt that will change. Well, I guess that I will just have to suck it up and deal. Another problem... what do I go to school for? I mean I am committed to event planning? Like committed enough to go pay for a degree?? I have no idea. Seriously, I am indecisive as it is... let alone about something that will impact the rest of my life. Oy. What kind of degree does a planner get? Comm? HR? Management? To be honest all of those degrees sound SUPER boring. I bet that I will want to stab myself in the face multiple times during those classes. My first worry should be getting pre-reqs out of the way though. I am hoping that I can do the rest of the pre-reqs I need at the community college and then transfer to Michigan State. But, if I am going to do this I want to be sure. I don't want to repeat my past and take a bunch of classes for something to realize that I want to do something completely different. That is part of the reason that I haven't gone back yet. I don't feel the need to go to school and waste money on classes when I am not even sure what I want to be. Any advice?

are we ever getting out of here???

Rob and I are dying to move. We are literally chomping at the bit at the idea of no longer living in this apartment. We have looked at places... we found a great place. Then, the landlord rented it to someone else. For some reason we are stuck here. We need more room. The girls need space to run and play. We need space for storage. This place is making me claustrophobic now. I need out.

depressing day

Today was supposed to be a good day. Today was filled with Christmas things. Getting the girls pictures taken (by me) for the Christmas card, going to a tree farm where they have a train ride to see Santa. It was supposed to be the day that helped me remember where my holiday spirit was. This day did none of that. This day has been filled with disappointment and tears. I had signed us up for a family night out at a local tree farm. Rob begrudgingly went with us. We were there for a whopping 20 minutes before Emma full out peed her pants. Like soaked down to her socks. So, no train ride, no reindeer, no Santa. I know she was finally excited to see him... so she was already really upset. I was upset because the trip was ruined and there was no way for us to stay. Emma just kept saying sorry in between sobs. I feel like a complete failure as a parent. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I should have had extra clothes, just in case. I should have thought ahead. But, I didn't... now my kids haven't seen Santa.... we haven't had a fun night out as a family... it was just ruined and I all can do is cry.

now the panic sets in

It is that time of year. You know the time where you feel so strapped in every way... financially, emotionally, time-wise, creatively. It runs the gamete. To be honest I think this year is worse for me than in the past. I feel a wave of panic just waiting to crash over me.
Financially, I decided that we aren't going crazy for Christmas. The girls will get one joint gift from Santa along with stockings and a couple things from Rob & I, and from each other. Emma will not be getting a ton for her birthday either. I guess that I will let the grandparents to spoil the kids again this year.

Rob is finally graduating this weekend. I couldn't be happier. It is over. :) Guess, that means the pressure is on me to figure out what in the hell that I want to be when I grow up.

I am feeling zapped. No ambition, no holiday spirit... I am still feeling like a shell of myself. I was hoping that the holidays would come around and I would feel all warm and fuzzy and back to normal.

She did it again.

Allison from Petit Elfant is hosting yet ANOTHER giveaway. Check out this post about the fantastic giveaway from Freshly Squeezed. I have been drooling (literally) over the gorgeous designs. Can you imagine my family/friends reactions to theses beauties when they got them?? I would be the envy of all I know. Fingers crossed.

Another great giveaway

Again, Allison over at Petit Elfant has yet another fantastic giveaway for Cinnamon*Sticks Boutique. You have to check it out, she has tons of great custom necklaces. Yet another link I can send to Rob in hopes that he gets my non subtle hints on what I really want.

Oy! Where to begin?

First, sorry for the lack of blogging. I have probably started a post about 50 times. I get half a paragraph in and can't get any farther. I will be better... for the 2 of you that read this. :) (Hi Kristin.)

The most exciting news that I have is... my BFF is at the hospital RIGHT now and she is getting induced. Today is her due date but her OB is concerned that the baby may be getting too big to deliver naturally. She is a TINY gal, and baby's head is getting big. Either way, I am dying to get the call that Evan Daniel is here. :) My first "nephew"!!!

Halloween went well. Emma banished me to the sidewalk this year. She is soooo old now. It is stuff like that, that really makes me realize it. She was super polite and I got lots of great compliments on "what a joy" she is. :) She complimented every single house on something, the pumpkins, the decorations, the lovely sweater one lady was wearing. (Yes, she really said lovely sweater. I almost fell over laughing.) As she walked away she told everyone to have a great Halloween. It is was adorable. She chose her own costume this year too. After 45 long minutes in the costume aisle at Target she was down to Wonder Woman and a fairy. Guess what she chose? Yup, my girly girl went with the fairy. It worked out because Arabel used E's costume from a couple years ago that was also a fairy. I opted to not take B trick or treating this year. She can't eat any of the candy and the weather was TERRIBLE. Next year she will be all over it.

I can't remember if I posted about it or not, but the baby shower that I threw went well. We ended up with the perfect amount of food and the guests of honor were happy. Honestly, that is all that really matters.

Rob has been bringing up getting engaged again. I am not holding my breath, but... that means that the date that I really want to get married is possible. Come on August 13, 2011.

Don't tell anyone but I have got some SERIOUS baby fever. I actually want a baby boy. (Weird, I am so not a boy mom. lol) I have the perfect name picked out and I want to use it!! Plus, if I were to get pregnant in the next few weeks... I would have an August baby. Which would space the kid's birthdays out by 4 months each. It is very tempting. You have no idea. I am hoping that holding my "nephew" will help quell those urges for a little bit. But, oh man are my ovaries aching. I mean it would be perfect to have an August 17 baby. (All the kids on the 17th, 4 months apart.) Plus, it would leave me a year to get my body back before the wedding. Are you noticing all the dreaming that is going on right now? Geez.

That is all for now. :)