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Thursday, March 17, 2011

relapse

I have dealt really well with the fire, at least I like to think. 9 months ago our lives were in limbo. Sure, I have my share of panic attacks but I feel like that is something I can live with. Tonight, I was looking for a shirt. Then, I can't remember if we got it from the fire. I got sad, like really sad. The shirt then opened the flood gate of things that I am unsure of getting. Did we get my baby blanket? The blanket I slept with every day as a child, the blanket that was a stand in lovey for when the girls' blankets were in the wash. Now, at 1:00 in the morning I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. They are material things, I understand this which is why I feel so stupid about being upset about them. Still, I feel like I have a little bit of a right to be sad about the things (only things) that we lost. Tomorrow WILL be a better day.

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