so far so so.

I have been doing OK with my new goals. I have been in bed on time, so that is great!!! I am watching calories (well, sort of) and have majorly cut down on pop. My new best friend is iced tea. My cleaning routine is coming along. I feel like I am playing catch up but so far, I am not disappointed. I haven't exactly started exercising, but I am OK with where I am at so far.

I had to take Em into get her shots for school today. That was ummm.... fun. She freaked when it was time to get the actual shots and had to be held down by 2 nurses and me, all while kicking and screaming. As soon as the nurse was done, E politely apologized for screaming in her ear. I wiped our tears and went to the car and immediately called my mom. I was terrified of needles as a child and I remember being held down by multiple nurses to get blood drawn. I knew that she would sympathize. She did, as I was telling her that things like that make me feel like such a bad mom, Emma pipes up from the back seat. "Mommy, you are not the worst mom in the world. In fact you are the best mom in the whole world. I know you had to do that to keep me healthy. That is why you are the best mom ever." I have never gotten a better compliment ever. The fact that it came from tear stained 5 year old made it even better. We treated ourselves to some coffee type drinks as a reward for making it through. It wasn't the most ideal way to spend an afternoon, but it worked out in the end.

To make today even better, I made E's favorite dinner grilled cheese. We had grilled cheese and applesauce on the deck as a picnic. It wasn't the world's most nutritious dinner but it made her happy. Dessert was s'mores in the microwave. It was a good end to the day.

My glass is half full.

well...

No house. We just got the email. I pretty much quit today. Plus, with Vandy effing my bracket... March Madness isn't looking so hot for me either.

Over and out.

depressing day

Today was supposed to be a good day. Today was filled with Christmas things. Getting the girls pictures taken (by me) for the Christmas card, going to a tree farm where they have a train ride to see Santa. It was supposed to be the day that helped me remember where my holiday spirit was. This day did none of that. This day has been filled with disappointment and tears. I had signed us up for a family night out at a local tree farm. Rob begrudgingly went with us. We were there for a whopping 20 minutes before Emma full out peed her pants. Like soaked down to her socks. So, no train ride, no reindeer, no Santa. I know she was finally excited to see him... so she was already really upset. I was upset because the trip was ruined and there was no way for us to stay. Emma just kept saying sorry in between sobs. I feel like a complete failure as a parent. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I should have had extra clothes, just in case. I should have thought ahead. But, I didn't... now my kids haven't seen Santa.... we haven't had a fun night out as a family... it was just ruined and I all can do is cry.

Sardines

Picture this: 1 queen sized bed with a fluffy down comforter. Now, picture 1 30 year old man and a 28 (well, almost) year old woman laying in that bed. A perfectly comfortable nights sleep if you ask me. Well, that perfect little picture only lasted until about 3:30. Arabel started fussing around, she has been only wanting to sleep ON my due to being stuffed up. Since, I know what she wants, it is 3:00am, and I don't feel like dealing with it... I pick her up and bring her in bed with me. She is out like a light in a matter of seconds. (I have a very good chest for sleeping apparently.) I was back to sleep shortly after. I was sleeping, until a little body decided to crawl into bed next to me. Yup, Emma decided that for some reason she must climb into bed. Did I mention that she never ever sleeps with us? Ever. So, now my comfortable bed has been turned into the family bed, with me and the girls squished on one half. (What you thought that Daddy-O would wake up or realize what was going on? Pfft.) I didn't mention that both of our cats felt like snuggling last night, did I? I didn't get much sleep. I was too worried that I would move a quarter of an inch and kick one of the kids out of bed. I contemplated moving into Emma's bed, but I figured they would all just follow me, and that is no way to treat a twin bed.

We are all battling an allergy/cold combo with is less than fun. Emma started out stuffed up and has moved into a raspy cough. Arabel has a runny/stuffed up nose. I think that I got the worst of it. Itchy eyes, stuffy head, sneezing like crazy and my ears are killing me. I am living on Benadryl right now. Good, because it works... but not so great when it knocks me on my ass. I have been taking Benadryl induced naps every day this week. I am hoping that the warmer weather is here to stay, so it stops messing with us. I can't take this much longer.

Sad news: A regular of ours at the bar (and a friend I have known for 10 years) passed away this week. Last Friday, a few of us noticed that Chris had been MIA for a few days. On Monday we were informed that he was in the hospital, and it wasn't looking good. He passed away Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I hope that Chris is at peace now, and no longer fighting or in pain. He will be sorely missed by a great deal of people. Thank you for being a friend.

wow

Tonight was the start of a very busy weekend for us. Rob hasn't slept since Wednesday. He has been working 24 hours a day to make this game perfect. Tonight, we had a Christmas party with my mom's side of the family. Emma got a pink scarf and jumped up and down for a solid 5 minutes screaming, "It's pink!! It's pink!!!" She wanted to sleep in it! lol When we get together with my mom's family it is a blast. There are sooo many kids. Emma had such a great time playing with all of the cousins. Tomorrow, at noon we have to be out at my mom's house to pile into her van so the girls, Rob, me, my brother and his gf can drive 2 1/2 hours to go to my dad's family Christmas. None of us are very thrilled with the idea. Oh well. Sunday morning Rob is demoing his game at 9:30 an hour away. 1:00 is Emma's party.

Now, onto some very sad news. My friend who is pregnant called tonight. I feel terrible that I have ranted about her, and relished in the fact that she was having a boy. She got the worst news that any mother can ever possibly get. She woke up yesterday to bleeding, her unborn son had no heartbeat. She was put into labor and after 20 hours gave birth to their first son, Noah Jay. My heart is literally breaking for her. I cannot imagine the pain she is going through. I can only put every positive thought that I have for her heart to heal. Rest in peace sweet baby Noah Jay.