now the panic sets in

It is that time of year. You know the time where you feel so strapped in every way... financially, emotionally, time-wise, creatively. It runs the gamete. To be honest I think this year is worse for me than in the past. I feel a wave of panic just waiting to crash over me.
Financially, I decided that we aren't going crazy for Christmas. The girls will get one joint gift from Santa along with stockings and a couple things from Rob & I, and from each other. Emma will not be getting a ton for her birthday either. I guess that I will let the grandparents to spoil the kids again this year.

Rob is finally graduating this weekend. I couldn't be happier. It is over. :) Guess, that means the pressure is on me to figure out what in the hell that I want to be when I grow up.

I am feeling zapped. No ambition, no holiday spirit... I am still feeling like a shell of myself. I was hoping that the holidays would come around and I would feel all warm and fuzzy and back to normal.

Vacation update

I posted a blog about our vacation including pictures at the girl's blog. I ate entirely too much delicious fast food and had a great time. The car ride was LONG, but the girls did great. I haven't had 2 seconds to breathe since we got home. I have been working all weekend, and can't wait for Tuesday to get here to have a bit of a break. I will post a better blog later... I am off to work for the night, once again.

wow

Tonight was the start of a very busy weekend for us. Rob hasn't slept since Wednesday. He has been working 24 hours a day to make this game perfect. Tonight, we had a Christmas party with my mom's side of the family. Emma got a pink scarf and jumped up and down for a solid 5 minutes screaming, "It's pink!! It's pink!!!" She wanted to sleep in it! lol When we get together with my mom's family it is a blast. There are sooo many kids. Emma had such a great time playing with all of the cousins. Tomorrow, at noon we have to be out at my mom's house to pile into her van so the girls, Rob, me, my brother and his gf can drive 2 1/2 hours to go to my dad's family Christmas. None of us are very thrilled with the idea. Oh well. Sunday morning Rob is demoing his game at 9:30 an hour away. 1:00 is Emma's party.

Now, onto some very sad news. My friend who is pregnant called tonight. I feel terrible that I have ranted about her, and relished in the fact that she was having a boy. She got the worst news that any mother can ever possibly get. She woke up yesterday to bleeding, her unborn son had no heartbeat. She was put into labor and after 20 hours gave birth to their first son, Noah Jay. My heart is literally breaking for her. I cannot imagine the pain she is going through. I can only put every positive thought that I have for her heart to heal. Rest in peace sweet baby Noah Jay.