Feeling good

My new goals are going... I mean I haven't given up completely yet so that is one score. :) The house is slowly getting cleaner. (It was kind of really bad, so I didn't expect it to be perfect overnight.)

Today, I spent a couple hours (yes, hours) cleaning the girls room. Holy crap people, my kids are spoiled to death. They have soooo much stuff. It wouldn't have taken me so long if I wasn't lazy about keeping up on it, well, that and if my kids weren't little piglets. All that I have left to do is clean the carpets. Which is going to be quite the task. Those girls have ruined beige carpet. I will NEVER ever put carpet in a kid's room if it were my choice. Hardwood floors and area rugs WILL be in my future. :)

Arabel was sick yesterday. I don't know how to deal with sick kids. Random, but I don't know what to do. My kids don't really ever get sick. Yesterday was a test for me. I mean I cleaned up puke, like a lot of puke and didn't even wince. I bathed the sick one quickly, redressed her, and then cuddled her while cleaning up said puke in 3 rooms of the house. She is perfect as pie today. I got to cuddle her all day, and it was great. She is so on the move that I don't really ever get to spend hours cuddling her. Cuddles, a banana and a good nap made a world of difference. :)

I even took Emma for a bike ride yesterday. I was like super mom. Except for the part where I let Emma fall over and scrape her knee. At least she was wearing her helmet.

Arabel is also officially out of her crib. I think that I may be a little crazy for doing it, but she seems to like it so far.

Where to start??

First off, let me say that I miss my mom forum. I once had a forum that I poured myself into. I made it run when the "owner" was gone. I kept things going. I had a moment of clarity where I felt that I was being used and not appreciated. The forum has since then went under. I don't miss the BS that went along with it, but I miss the fact that I don't have a way to talk to all of my friends on a daily basis. (Yes, Kristin, I am talking to you.) I miss the fact that I could post any random thought and get support and ideas on the subject. Yes, I understand there is facebook, but it is not the same. I am not about to post the same things there that I was comfortable to post at the private forum. I am very thankful that it really has shown me who my friends are though. I am a part of a local mom forum, but I feel like I am infiltrating a group of women that have been friends forever, and I am an outsider. Nothing like a ego blow to try and make friends.

This is what brought this whole thing on:

I put an offer in on a house on Sunday. I, me. Not us, me. No, nothing is wrong between Rob and I. In fact we are fantastic. He was talking about booking a special trip for us to NYC, because he has something special in store. (Not getting my hopes up though....) Here is the back story. Rob's dad called him on Saturday and said that the govt had revised the first time home buyers tax credit. If you close before 5/1 you can amend your 2009 tax return by 7/1 and get the tax credit (up to $8000) back immediately rather than waiting the whole year. He had a major bug up his ass and wanted us to find something NOW, and get it done. Here is the deal. We, as in neither of us, have the credit to get a mortgage at the moment. Our option is a land contract. We, and when I say we... I mean Rob, found a house for us. It was a house that he had looked at 10ish years ago. House specs: listed at $140,000, built in 1993 (new in house standards), 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, 2 car garage, full basement with egress windows (which means bedrooms could be built in the basement), 2 tiered deck on the back, yard.... (my little addition is the fact that there is an adorable little railed in white porch on the front.) It is cute. It is also like 3 blocks from the best elementary school in the district. The middle school is across the street from the elementary school, the high school is only a couple blocks away. Everything in the universe is screaming that this is the perfect house for us. We need at least 3 bedrooms. The basement gives us the option of adding more if we need it, or turning it into an office.
Since Rob's dad has been so gung ho on the whole thing, we told him to make it happen. He was the one who told us to do it, so we decided to have him do the wheeling and dealing. He is an attorney, and will be acting as Realtor anyway. So he calls, finds out there has been a low ball offer for $115,000. Supposedly, the seller counter offered, which we now find out is untrue. I write my offer for $135,000. My offer is submitted on Sunday. On Tuesday we find out that the seller "may" have another offer coming in so he wants all of the possible buyers to submit a best and highest offer by Wed. at 4pm. We look at our offer and the ton of research that has been done and realize that to get this house, it will be in our best interest to cover some of the back taxes owed and to lower our offer in the same amount as the back taxes that are owed. I fully trust the people that are in on this deal. My future FIL is the broker, my future DH is a guy that owned his own mortgage company. We have very good friends that are appraisers. I am in good hands. I am just now awaiting a word on whether we get this house or not. Honestly, it is killing me. I have been sick to my stomach for days. I just need a yes or no and quick or I may develop an ulcer. (So not cut out for this high stress shit.)

Rob and I realized that it would be in our best interest for me to put the offer in without him involved which is why we are doing this. At the end of the 3 year land contract the hope is that we will be married and we will go in for a mortgage together.

Tonight, he then mentions that I need to take some days off work. I mention that the days he is mentioning conflicts with a friend of mine's bacheorlette party. He seems bummed and wonders if I would miss it. Apparently, he had a weekend planned for us to go to NYC for a weekend. He also said that there was something important for me planned that weekend. (He basically told me that he was planning to propose.) I am torn. I want the proposal to happen, but don't see it needing to happen in NYC. If we are looking at buying a house, I don't want to have to take the extra time off work and lose that income. I said this to him and he said that he had looked into flights last night and had found some great airfare. After saying this he mentioned that anything that he could save in airfare would go to my ring fund. So, basically... I know that he is dying to go to NYC anyway. But, I would be thrilled to get proposed to, in NYC... shit anywhere. I would honestly rather him propose to me at our own house (assuming that we get it) and getting a pretty ring. I have been burned too many times before about him having big plans to propose. I just want it to happen, plus I think that anyway or anywhere that he does it will be special. Trip or not.

I got the info that kindergarten round up is in less than a month. Oy. Belle is showing her temper lately. I am drained. My job has been using me as a manger but not exactly paying me for it, and I am not sure how to breech the situation.

Thanks for reading. Any and all comments are appreciated.

not cut out for this

Monday was not my favorite day this week. Arabel woke me up by screaming in pain. I figured it was teething but was exhausted (I closed all weekend, so I was lacking in the sleep dept.) I rocked her and held her for hours before calming her enough for us to grab a tiny nap together. She woke up screaming again. I checked her mouth and she had gotten another molar that morning and had another one ready to pop through. (For those keeping tabs, that would be molar #3 ready to surface.) After she stopped wailing, she just laid on the couch. My vibrant 14 month old just laid there. I had noticed that she was babying her left arm, but upon my inspection there was no swelling or bruising. I head to work and get a frantic call around 7:30. Rob says she needs to go to the ER... NOW. I can hear her in the background screeching in pain. He fills me in that Emma had come to him and admitted to jumping up and down while holding her arm, she thought that she had hurt Arabel. I am at work and officially in a panic. Our friend Dan was at the bar eating dinner. He grabbed the keys and took off to our house. He stayed with Emma while Rob took Arabel into the ER. They went to the new-ish peds ER and it was a short visit (well, short as ERs go.) Arabel had what is called Nursemaid's elbow (or for those med students subluxation of the radial head) which is a partial dislocation of her elbow. A very quick pop and she was as good as new. I was VERY relieved to say the least when I got the phone call that they were on their way home and Arabel was laughing and back to her normal self.
I am soooo not cut out for my kids being hurt. This was the first ER visit needed since I have been a mom. I am however very grateful that I signed up for AFLAC supplemental insurance last week. My plan went into effect on Sunday and here it is Tuesday and I am filing my first claim. I am even more grateful for the fact that Arabel is now fine. Whew. Let's not do that any time soon.

updates on everyone

I feel like I have been unconnected to the world lately. (Which is funny considering most of my day is spent online in hopes of connecting. Ahhh the irony.) Here is what is going on in our lives.

Rob: He is officially done with his hellish first summer session of classes. He actually managed to pull out a 4.0 for the semester. Not that I am surprised, he is super studious and smart. He has a total of 4 classes left and he will finally be a college graduate. I couldn't be more proud of him for it. I can only imagine how tough it was to pick up and go back to a major university after a 10 year hiatus. He was in classes where his professors were younger than him (and me for that matter).

The kids: Emma is getting too smart for her own good. I bought her this awesome Leap Frog fridge phonics thing. I got it on sale at Target for $15 and I can't rave enough about it. Seriously, this thing is amazing! Emma went from knowing none of her letter sounds to being able to put words together! I will be getting this for her next. I am incredibly proud of how far she is coming with her letters/reading. It is hard to believe that she is almost ready for school. (We have another year to get everything in order.)

Arabel popped another tooth through this morning. She now has 9 teeth, her newest one is a molar. I am baffled by how fast she is growing up. Her personality has blossomed in the past few months. She has a fantastic sense of humor and laughs all the time. Just recently she has started to enjoy dancing and has quite the moves.

Me: I am still trying to decide what in the hell to do with my life. I have a dear friend who was recently laid off and she took a wedding consultant job. I realized how incredibly jealous of her job I was. Rob and I have talked about what I could do to remedy that situation. Looks like I will slowly be starting to build my database about vendors in the area. That will be the first step in me starting a career that I would love. It will be a very long road ahead, but maybe this will help me feel like my life is getting on track. One day maybe you can say, "you knew me when" this was just a dream.

Just admiring

A couple pictures, just because.
Emma then:

Emma now:

Arabel then:

Arabel now:


It amazes me how big they are.

Wordless Wednesday

My little Popeye

Creeping up on me

Arabel is officially walking now. I say officially because she has been cruising since about 7 months and I am pretty sure she has just been perfecting her skills until they were up to her standards. Today she stood up in the middle of the room and proceeded to walk to one side, turn around and walk to the other. She is quick too!! I know that she has been completely capable yet unwilling to walk for months now. She has been stubborn since she was in utero. Little booger.

Another Arabel milestone... I washed and sanitized all the bottles and they now have a new home, in the closet. *tear* I have struggled with her growing up and this was something that I was struggling with. I figured that I couldn't have the crutch of the bottle laying on the counter when she was whining. It is all cup all the time now. Though, it did break my heart a little when she saw that her bottle was gone. I just saw the disappointment in her face. Ugh, nothing like a guilt trip from a 13 month old.

I did want to mention that I am craving and iced coffee and a snickers blizzard (freeze, flurry, whatever you call it) like it is going out of style. I just saw a Sonic commercial (which I also think is cruel considering the closest one is 40 minutes away) and I had to wipe the drool from my chin. Does that officially make me a fat kid? Either way, I think that I am OK with it. (I won't mention that our late night snack last night was mini corndogs and fried green beans/zucchini.)

Rob is done with school for the semester. Which now means that he has one whole week off before the first summer session starts and he hates his school life. Which brings me to the fact that he is a total drama queen. He threw a tantrum about his professor taking off a point on a project. A POINT! Guess what? He still has like a 98% in the class. Pretty sure a 4.0 is a 4.0 is a 4.0. Get over it. :) Though, I am super proud of him. I can't wait to watch him walk across that stage in December. *Note to self: get a baby sitter for that day... the last thing I want to deal with is 2 kids during commencement at a Big Ten University. *shudder*

The big 2-8 is quickly approaching for me. T- minus 2 days until I am in the late 20's club. I have noticed that when someone asks me my age, I reply, "almost 30." Wow. I can't complain though. I was noticing how I am down playing it this year. I love my birthday. This year, I kind of feel like it is lost. It falls on Mother's Day this year, which is nothing new to me. I was born on Mother's Day and it continues to happen every 6 years. My mom is the sweetest person ever though, she called to see what special dessert I wanted. I told her cupcakes. Delicious cupcakes. I guess I feel like it isn't a big deal because I don't have tons of people calling to see when and where we are going to get wasted. I will frankly be lucky to enjoy any type cocktails with friends. Here's to hoping though.

I realized that I couldn't write a post like this and not include an Emma gem. I told her my birthday was coming up and she said, yeh, I know. (Smart ass kid. Wonder where that came from?) She told me that I must be turning 17. When I told her I was turning 28 her mouth dropped open. I asked her if she thought that was old she said, "Well, yeah. But, I can only count to 30." I love that kid. She is my little buddy. She loves to cuddle with me all the time. She even told me that she thinks growing up with be fun (which is a very good thing, she has been very against the entire idea for a while.) When I asked her why, she explained that she gets to grow up with me. Talk about a melt your heart moment. Then, I am sure she ran around in circles and refused to quit talking/making noise for the next three hours.

Wordless Wednesday

Yesterday in her new polo dress. (Thanks to Rob's dad and dad's gf.)

Today


I love my kids! :)

Sardines

Picture this: 1 queen sized bed with a fluffy down comforter. Now, picture 1 30 year old man and a 28 (well, almost) year old woman laying in that bed. A perfectly comfortable nights sleep if you ask me. Well, that perfect little picture only lasted until about 3:30. Arabel started fussing around, she has been only wanting to sleep ON my due to being stuffed up. Since, I know what she wants, it is 3:00am, and I don't feel like dealing with it... I pick her up and bring her in bed with me. She is out like a light in a matter of seconds. (I have a very good chest for sleeping apparently.) I was back to sleep shortly after. I was sleeping, until a little body decided to crawl into bed next to me. Yup, Emma decided that for some reason she must climb into bed. Did I mention that she never ever sleeps with us? Ever. So, now my comfortable bed has been turned into the family bed, with me and the girls squished on one half. (What you thought that Daddy-O would wake up or realize what was going on? Pfft.) I didn't mention that both of our cats felt like snuggling last night, did I? I didn't get much sleep. I was too worried that I would move a quarter of an inch and kick one of the kids out of bed. I contemplated moving into Emma's bed, but I figured they would all just follow me, and that is no way to treat a twin bed.

We are all battling an allergy/cold combo with is less than fun. Emma started out stuffed up and has moved into a raspy cough. Arabel has a runny/stuffed up nose. I think that I got the worst of it. Itchy eyes, stuffy head, sneezing like crazy and my ears are killing me. I am living on Benadryl right now. Good, because it works... but not so great when it knocks me on my ass. I have been taking Benadryl induced naps every day this week. I am hoping that the warmer weather is here to stay, so it stops messing with us. I can't take this much longer.

Sad news: A regular of ours at the bar (and a friend I have known for 10 years) passed away this week. Last Friday, a few of us noticed that Chris had been MIA for a few days. On Monday we were informed that he was in the hospital, and it wasn't looking good. He passed away Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I hope that Chris is at peace now, and no longer fighting or in pain. He will be sorely missed by a great deal of people. Thank you for being a friend.

Happy Birthday Arabel Grace!

Today my sweet little peanut is ONE! This year has flown by and I can hardly believe it. I am truly blessed with fantastic girls in my life. I couldn't ask for a better, more happy go lucky baby.

I have been having a very rough time with coming to grips with Belle turning one. (Which is odd because I never felt like this with Em.) I feel like it isn't time for her to be a year old yet. She is my tiny girl, still wearing 6 month clothes. I am waiting for her to take off running across the room, I have a feeling that she is waiting until she has walking perfected to show off for me. I have gotten a couple steps out of her, but nothing crazy yet.

One year ago, I was 50 inches around and waddling into the hospital. A bouncing 8 pound 8 ounce baby girl was born. She was a mommy's girl from moment one. I will never forget the look on Emma's face when she met "her" baby for the first time. Or the proud grandparents as they held the new addition to the family. Or even the way Rob interacted with his new daughter.

Now, that bouncing baby is on the verge of toddlerhood and terrorizing her sister and the cats. I couldn't be happier.

It is hard for me to believe that one year ago today, I looked like this:

and only hours after that picture was taken, I had this:


That tiny (OK not tiny... 8 pounds 8 ounces tiny) little baby was growing up before my eyes.


Now, I have a vibrant, beautiful sweet girl.



Happy Birthday sweet Arabel!

Burgers without incident

My friend Doug pulled up at my house around 4:30. I got the carseats in, loaded the kids and we were off. That is right, we took a road trip for burgers. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I was very nervous/anxious about the ordering process. We got there before the couple that we were meeting so Uncle Doug took Em up through the line to order her some food first. While they didn't send him to the end of the line... he did get a "that's not my area" comment a couple times. Emma comes back to the table with a grilled cheese and bag of chips. Hey, that is what she wanted for dinner. As soon as Em sits down with her food Arabel (aka Grabsy McGee) snatched up half of her sandwich and starts eating it. Good to know that she likes grilled cheese (and fried zuchinni and french fries) though. Time was up for me to hit up the line. It was truly nerve wracking. I am proud to report that I ordered correctly, and no anti-anxiety medications were needed. The food was good. It is not the type of place that we will take a 45 minute road trip to get (unlike Zingerman's Deli *drool*) but good none the less. Plus, it was on triple D and we all know how much I love the Food Network.

Other news:
While in the car on the way to Ann Arbor we were discussing the Lion King. Emma has watched the movie at least 4,000 times since Monday. No I am not exaggerating. I asked her "Emma, what is your favorite part of the Lion King?" Em's reply, "I love the part where the king is killed and then the little lion goes 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'" Yep, my kid's favorite part is when Mufasa is trampled to death. I couldn't make this up if I tried. I wonder if I should have her looked at... sadistic little kid.

Emma and I along with my mom are going to see Playhouse Disney Live tonight at Breslin. Em is pumped and to be honest, I kind of am too. I think that somedays I enjoy the Disney channel as much if not more than her.

Wordless Wednesday

These are pictures of both of my girls at the same age, wearing the same shirt. I think the genes speak for themselves.

Case of the Mondays.

I am so blah the last couple days. I think that work is taking so much out of me. I feel exhausted almost all the time. Today was an internal power struggle to make myself get up. I am pretty sure that I could have slept for 15 straight hours, if not more. Taking Friday off this week (so Em and I can go to Playhouse Disney Live) is forcing me to work Wednesday. Wednesday is one of my typical off days. Can you tell how effing thrilled I am to have to work again on Wednesday? Blech. I have even contemplated quitting, though I like the people that I work with... well, for the most part.

I honestly don't have much else going on lately. Em has stopped being the DEVIL. Which is a nice break for me. After last week I was looking into boarding schools that took 4 year olds. You think that I am kidding? Try getting strawberry syrup out of the carpet.


I did have a bit of a panic attack yesterday. I realized that Arabel will be ONE in 6 short weeks. Seriously, when did that happen? I am very not OK with the idea of my sweet little peanut being one. I have to start figuring out what in the hell I am going to do for her party. Theme ideas anyone?

25 things all about me.

These are different from the ones I posted on Facebook. Well, most of them.

1. I am hilarious. Though, sometimes I think that I amuse myself more than anything.
2. I miss my best friend more than anything. She lives too far away and it sucks. Even though we won't be sleeping in bed together with no pants on.
3. My friends and I have the funniest inside jokes ever. Seriously. I could randomly think of them at any random time and laugh out loud.
4. I love bad reality TV, and good reality TV. OK, reality TV in general.
5. I hate confrontation. I will avoid it at all costs. (Check my posts on my MIL.)
6. I talk to my mom everyday. If we don't talk we end up calling one another by the end of the day just to check in.
7. My mom is one of my best friends. I didn't realize how awesome she was until I grew up and had kids.
8. My mom is an amazing cook. I can't cook very well, which is pretty ironic. I usually have dinner cooked by mom once a week. Thank goodness that Rob can cook.
9. Cheese is definitely my favorite food. I keep eating bleu cheese, even though I don't like it because I really want to like it. I am an equal opportunity cheese lover.
10. I hate showering. The idea of getting wet and then being wet and cold sucks. Not to mention all of the work I have to do post shower to become presentable.
11. Some of the best women I have ever met have been over the internet. I wish that I had the money to be able to meet most of them. They know more about me than people I see day to day do.
12. I wish that I had more close friends that live around here. I am afraid to reach out because nothing would be worse than feeling unliked after trying.
13. I have 2 of the most adorable girls. I really do think that they are beautiful.
14. I can't wait until Rob proposes. I want to get married so bad it kills me. At the same time I worry that he will never propose and we will just live in sin forever. (Not that I actually have an issue with living in sin. I just really want to get hitched.)
15. I now have to sleep with the TV on all night. I get weirded out if it is off.
16. I have an irrational fear of horses. They scare the shit out of me. You will never catch me riding one ever again.
17. I love Arabel's name. I am very happy that we didn't pick something more ordinary. Looking back I wish that I would have chosen something different for Emma. Though, she is totally an Emma.
18. I like working, but wish that I made more money so that I didn't feel so guilty leaving the kids for $35 in tips.
19. I just learned how to knit (just the knit stitch) and I am pretty good at it. I really enjoy it.
20. I would love to be a wedding planner but lack the ambition to get there.
21. Monday nights at work are hysterical. I work with 2 of the funniest guys ever and they make my night every time that I see them.
22. I love musicals. In fact I was one of the leads in my high school musical. Many people don't realize that I can actually sing because I screw around so much.
23. Nothing hits the spot like an extra dirty grey goose martini with extra olives. I just salivated a little.
24. I try and not get my hopes up about anything anymore because I have been disappointed so many times before.
25. Guys that cry on TV annoying the piss out of me. I seriously wish that I could reach through and slap them.

I really do love Playhouse Disney

Rob's mom has been here for a couple weeks now. I am annoyed. I am really trying not to be, but I am. She needs help with the microwave all the time. (Seriously??? It's a damn microwave, not rocket science.) I have 2 kids already, the last thing that I need is someone else to make meals for. She watches weird shows (normally involving killing and crime). I am a creature of habit. We turn on Playhouse Disney in the livingroom and leave it on. The kids don't sit and watch hours of TV, but at least this way I know that they are watching kid friendly/educational stuff. She has taken over the couch (the big couch) so Rob and I are stuck on the tiny ass love seat together. Cozy right? No. I am used to having the big couch and he has the little couch, that is just how we roll. We are starting to get on each others nerves because we are practically on top of each other all of the time. Emma won't even come out of her room if I am not in the livingroom. She has been soooo clingy lately. All of a sudden she wants to sleep with us and the whole deal. She has never, ever slept with us. To be honest that is not a habit that I would like to start at 4.
Emma has been sick the past couple nights. Can you believe that I had lived the past 4 years as a mother without having to clean up puke. That streak ended on Monday night. The poor girl was covered and unhappy. She is finally feeling better. I am so relieved because I hated when she felt like crap and there was nothing that I could do.

random thoughts for today

Working is good. I actually like getting out of the house and being known as Kimm instead of mom. Even though it has been painfully slow lately, coming home with $40 is still $40 we didn't have before. I will take it. :)

Emma has entirely too much energy for her own good. It is cold out and she refuses to try on her new snow pants let alone wear them. At least I have finally managed to get her to wear pants now and then. I really can't wait until it is warm enough for her to run around like a crazy person and get some of that energy out. She is also too smart for her own good. The stall tactics that she has come up with is amazing. She will wait to poop until bedtime, clever huh?

Arabel is getting soooo big. She has been saying Dada since Christmastime and we have been coaxing her to say Mama. Well, she has!! Rob said that she was yelling "mama! mama!" last night. He tried to record it, but then she would stop and stare at the camera. lol Smart kid. I did finally get to hear it though. Granted it was at 6:30 this morning when she woke up and was hungry and wet. I can stand getting woken up with squeals of mama!! (Remind me that I said that in a couple months.) Next on the list is Emma. I know that Em will DIE if Bellie starts saying her name.

Wordless Wednesday

My reasons to keep smiling.



Beat that.