so lonesome...

Rob works from home. BF (Before the Fire) his "office" was in the livingroom. Even if he was working he was around. Now, his office (no quotes this time... he actually has his own room with a door) is upstairs. He has been working his ass off lately for us. The major downside? I feel like I live here alone with the girls. He comes down for dinner and maybe a little at night, but other than that, he is holed up in his office. He came down to take out the trash and move the containers to the cub, but other than that... I haven't even seen him since dinner. I am kind of lonely...

Ugh, I feel like a bad country song.

a tisket, a TASKet.

Rob so kindly volunteered me to do some work for his dad. Neat right? I thought so, until I realized that this TASK (see what I did there with the title... clever right? I thought so. HA!) blows donkey nuts to put it lightly. Rob thought that he was negotating a better price for this job. (Going from $20/hour to $1/minute of phone call.) Basically, my crap-tastic job is to transcribe all of these bajillion phones calls to an excel spread sheet so there is written record. Sounds super easy right? Yeh, well it isn't the brainiest (wow, I am pretty sure I just made up that word) thing that I have ever done... but it sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks... really bad. Did I mention that it sucks? I started with a 24 minute phone call. 24 minutes=$24. Yeh, I have been doing it for like 3 hours. There are kids in sweat shops in China making more than I am. I already told Rob that he needs to re-negotiate my "contract". This dollar a minute thing is for the birds.

growing up

It is time for me to decide what in the hell I want to be when I grow up. Rob will be done with school in December. That means that it is my turn to go and get my degree. I was originally going to prestigious community college for Elementary Ed. After having my own kids... I am not sure that I want to spend my days with a bunch of children. I want to spend time with my kids, not necessarily other people's. (Now, that I sound like a total child hating dick...) What in the hell do I want to do with my life? I am at a dead end with no ideas. Any thoughts?

Maybe the whole idea of me going back to school will help with how lost I have felt lately. I mean I am 28 with no house (still effing renting and throwing money away every month), not married or engaged (if that ever happens), no college degree, a job that I hate, etc. I feel like I have nothing to show for my 28 years on the planet. (Well, nothing aside from the two gorgeous girls that are my little clones.) I go through these patches every so often. This one just seems to be lasting longer than normal. I feel like I am stuck.
I am already itching to have another baby, but would really love to actually be married for this one. The whole idea of a wedding is starting to be a distant thought. I am starting to give up on it, which is completely sad. I just can't foresee a point where we have the money to get a ring and have a wedding where it happens. There will always be a trip that we could take instead, or a new car to get, or a house, or this or that or any other thing. So, in order for us as a family to get the things that we want and need... I will be the selfless one who gives up what I so badly want. (That doesn't mean that I am happy about it. It means that I am incredibly bitter and sad. So bitter and sad that the idea of it makes me tear up a bit.) I am being realistic, no sense in continuing to look at bridesmaid dresses, invitations, flowers, bridal gowns, and favors planning something that will never happen. I should start letting myself down easy. I guess this way if it ever happens... it will be a happy surprise. *Please don't suggest that we just go to the JP or something of that nature. I understand that it isn't all about the wedding, it is about the marriage. We are NOT JP kind of people. I know that if we did that I would resent the fact that we didn't have "the" wedding. OK, now that I got that off my chest... I feel a bit better.

FML

I need a new job, yesterday. The owners treat me like ass. Today a friend of mine walks into the office to speak to said owner about a rumor that was going around about her stealing. YUP, STEALING. Guess what got glossed over... oh yeh that whole stealing thing. Somehow, this turns into Kimm doing everything wrong ever. Seriously? We jump from stealing to me talking. TALKING! I asked a mutual friend of ours, so what is up with so and so. There is talk that she is stealing. That was the extent of it. Friend B says something to friend A and next thing you know. Friend A is in the office crying and worrying about her job. This turns into well, if Kimm wouldn't breathe the world would be a better place. I am tired of getting shit on. I have been at that damn place for 5 1/2 years. I used to be a damn manager. (Not anymore due to my choice. I took a much needed hiatus when I was pregnant with Arabel.) I am not saying that I am perfect, far from it. However, I DO NOT deserve the shit that I get. This isn't the first time... recently, another bartender was caught giving away the bar- literally stealing money from their pockets. She gets pulled from the bar and put on the floor. What happens? Owner starts bitching that she would rather have Theify behind the bar than me. Whaaattt? Am I the only one who doesn't get this logic? She comes up with all sorts of elaborate (and false) stories about how everyone hates me. Really? Well, they all hide it very well from me then. So basically my day started by getting a phone call from my friend and manager there giving me the heads up about what went down. She defended me, which she always does... it just gets obnoxious. I shouldn't have to have my friend/manager standing up for me all the time. I shouldn't be getting shit that much. I have once again been reduced to tears to getting crapped all over. I have no idea what it was that I did to wrong owner so bad, but geez. I am now looking for other options job wise. Perfect economic timing huh?

So now I will sit here feeling sorry for myself.

Tourney time!!

I love March. I love the dance. Watching basketball for days on end makes me a happy gal. I love filling out a bracket(s). Watching and pulling for random teams is fun for me. Though, nothing tops pulling for the Spartans. I am a basketball junkie. The problem with tourney time... I have to work during games. Nothing pains me more than having to serve d-bags during a State game. Yes, I say d-bags because some people are just honest to god douches. Yes, I get it, I am a server. That doesn't mean I am stupid, or below you. It means that you should be nice to me, I am touching your food and drinks. No, I don't mess with people (or their food/drinks), though TRUST me it is a tough call sometimes. Btw, thank you Wake for sucking ass and screwing my bracket. I knew that you were overrated but for christ sake, a first round ass kicking. Geez. Until Sunday I will be praying to the basketcall gods for State to pull off another victory against USC. Final Four... we need this. Izzo has a reputation to uphold.

General annoyance

I will not get into specifics on exactly what I am annoyed at, but I must vent. You have been warned. :)


I am so tired of taking care of things while others are MIA for extended periods of time. When the other people come are back in "action" for the short bursts of activity that we should feel so lucky to be blessed with their presence, I get shoved to the side. Nevermind the fact that I take care of things as they come up. I get an occasional "good job" and a "thank you", though I don't know that it was cutting it anymore. I am not a quitter per se, but you know I am really starting to wonder when to end a good thing. I really hate confrontation and would hate for things to end on a sour note. (Which is totally possible if something doesn't change a bit.) I feel like I am I getting used and stepped on. Other people have the ability to do what I do, but it is normally up to me. What is the point if I just get shoved aside like I don't matter? Though, I really do wonder if it would make that much of a difference if I wasn't there.

Part of me wonders if I am just changing my views on people and situations as I get older. I would have went on like this years ago, just being bitter on the inside. Now, I just don't know that I have the patience to deal with it. Maybe I am in a spring cleaning type of mood, and I am looking at areas of my life to clean up. Maybe it is just late and I am a tad crabby. (Which is possible, but I don't feel like I am crabby.) Watching a friend get treated like crap lately has really opened my eyes. I don't want to be that person that keeps going back time after time. I wonder if maybe I already am.

I guess the real question is how to you know when to call it quits? When do you take the high road and go out on a good note? How do you know when it is time? I am so very torn.

Case of the Mondays.

I am so blah the last couple days. I think that work is taking so much out of me. I feel exhausted almost all the time. Today was an internal power struggle to make myself get up. I am pretty sure that I could have slept for 15 straight hours, if not more. Taking Friday off this week (so Em and I can go to Playhouse Disney Live) is forcing me to work Wednesday. Wednesday is one of my typical off days. Can you tell how effing thrilled I am to have to work again on Wednesday? Blech. I have even contemplated quitting, though I like the people that I work with... well, for the most part.

I honestly don't have much else going on lately. Em has stopped being the DEVIL. Which is a nice break for me. After last week I was looking into boarding schools that took 4 year olds. You think that I am kidding? Try getting strawberry syrup out of the carpet.


I did have a bit of a panic attack yesterday. I realized that Arabel will be ONE in 6 short weeks. Seriously, when did that happen? I am very not OK with the idea of my sweet little peanut being one. I have to start figuring out what in the hell I am going to do for her party. Theme ideas anyone?

Too nice

Can you be too nice? Yes. The definitive answer is yes. I am a good person. I help people out when they need it. Tonight, I helped a co-worked who was hurting in a female way. She was scheduled to close, and I was scheduled to be first out. (Which tonight would have had me out of there close to the girl's bedtime.) Instead, I say, "hey, I will stay for you." Why? I have had those female issues and I could list at least a hundred things that I would rather do than kiss ass to a bunch of a-holes to make a couple bucks. I like my job, no matter how minuscule it seems to many. I have fun, and I am good at it. I make decent money, I wouldn't keep doing it if I didn't. Tonight was just one of those nights. By one of those nights, I mean a night from hell. Seriously. I was pulling out all the stops and couldn't make a buck to save my life. It was infuriating. So irriatating that I had tears welling up. I am not one that cries at work... ever. In all the years I have only ever cried once. (To my defense I was also pregnant and verbally assaulted by a regular.) Tonight was almost the second time that I have ever cried at work. I am too nice. I smile and do favors, yet I never seem to ask for ANY favor to be returned. I should really work on that.

Say Whhhaaaaatttt???

OK a disclaimer: I am a really nice person, most of the time.

The MIL is a thorn in my side. I really can't wait until she is gone from my livingroom. I have already bitched enough about her in my previous post, but really it is that bad. I promise. You are more than welcome to borrow her if you want. I will totally let you. One upside: she is doing the laundry. Hey, I hate laundry. More power to her. Here I go bitching again. Remember how I am a creature of habit?? Well, I still fold my bathroom towels the way we folded them when I worked at Target. (And, I didn't normally work in the part of the store that had to fold towels. I worked in softlines which is clothing. Can you see where this is going??) She folds all the clothes wrong. I know, I know, I should be greatful. It literally eats at me, and I contemplate re-folding all the clothes, because I am anal like that. I totally do re-fold all of the towels, because that shit bugs the hell out of me.
Rob is getting annoyed because I am bitching about her. He wants me to start bitching at her. Guess what?? I hate confrontation so that is so not going to happen. Instead, I will come here and bitch until my face is blue. Good thing that that I have good friends that I can call and vent too.

laughing hysterically

Vindication is sweet. My "friend" found out she is having a boy. Bwhahahahahaa.

outrage update and a laugh

After I posted my outrage with the motrin ad, I kept checking in on what other moms thought. Let's just say that the score stands: pissed off moms-1 motrin-0. I am happy to report that they have pulled the ad and are pulling all print ads. There is even an apology up on the site. Does this mean I will run out and buy some motrin? Nope. I do honestly hope that they feel the crunch and POed moms will still boycott them, at least for awhile. I can hear generic ibprofen calling my name. :)

Remember the post about the friend who is pregnant? Yeh so she posted her first pregnancy picture. She is 19 weeks and I can honestly say... she just looks fat. Bwahahahahahahaha! I was actually bigger than her at 10 weeks with Belle. I am evil, but I am enjoying it. She is supposed to find out the sex this week, so pray it is a boy!!! Bwahahahahaa!

Trying to decide on how to spell Arabel's nickname. We obviously call her Arabel, Belle, and Bellie/Belie/etc... I have asked for some input and have gotten some options, I am just trying to decide what is the best. When Rob and I named her (God, what a tedious process that was. I would rather gnaw off my arm than do that again at the moment.) We both decided that spelling her name Arabel was perfect, we could have gone the Arabelle route, but that just looks weird to me now. lol

An add on..

To the peeves list:

*People that work their ass off for another person and yet to get paid.
*Lying. I am so fucking tired of bullshit.
*Living paycheck to paycheck.
*The idea of going back to work when the idea makes me sick. I am screwed. Period.
*Thinking that I am fucking stupid. I am not a god damn retard.
*Money and people that don't pay.
*The idea that this trip won't happen.
*The thought of a proposal. I am at the giving up stage. I am pretty sure everyone in the world will get engaged before me.

List of Peeves

I figured that I should probably get my list of peeves down somewhere. Here you go you lucky duck.

*When your significant other sets their alarm, but then pushes the snooze button 800 times. Seriously, what is the point if you aren't going to get up when it goes off.
*Alarms in general. There is nothing worse than getting woken up to an obnoxious buzzing or beeping. Plus, it wakes up the baby.
*The Wiggles. They are just plain creepy.
*Onions. They freaking annoy me.
*People who don't show up/call when they say that they will. If we made plans and you are going to back out... just let me know- don't leave me hanging.
*The fact that my daughter refuses to wear pants.
*The fact that my daughter refuses to wear clothes 90% of the time.
*The stupid shows that Rob chooses to turn on. I get it, you like space... but you don't even watch. You pretend like you will, but you are on your computer never looking up.
*Saying that you are working, when I know damn well that you are on the RCMB. You can't fool me.
*Annoying toys. Really, do we need a talking vacuum cleaner. No, the correct answer is no.
*Right wing nut jobs.
*When the kitchen is clean, your trash goes in the trash can, your dirty fork goes in the dishwasher. I swear if I wipe off the stove one more time after you cook and leave everything in the pans... I may punch you. Just saying.
*Excuses for EVERYTHING. You know who you are. Heaven forbid you just be wrong.

I am sure there will be more. It is still early.

Weekend update

We ended up pulling some favor out of our ass and went to the game. We also found out that the payment Rob was supposed to have gotten on Friday at the latest... didn't even get mailed until Thursday. Oh course it wasn't. Good thing that he got an email saying that it was sent out Tuesday. Seriously.
We found a car to buy. Finally. We are going to be getting a great deal on it. I am not thrilled with the idea of driving a ten year old car, but we don't have much of a choice. So, instead I will silently bitch about it here.
We met up with the whole fam on Friday night to have pizza and beer. Most of the family got to meet Arabel for the first time, and hand her around. Em had a freaking blast with the kids. My cousin told me to bring her over to play. I will have to take them up on that. She really needs some friends.
Saturday was a very early morning. We got up and got the kids ready to go. We were out at my friend's house by 9, and headed back into EL. The kids stayed with my friend while Rob and I tailgated. My mom can throw one hell of a tailgate. She was not joking around. They had the canopy all set up with a camping stove, picnic table and grill. Not to mention the insane amount of food. My mom made us all breakfast burritos and I made the morning cocktails. Bloody Mary's seemed to be the drink of choice. :) I switched to whiskey and coffee after that. The game was freezing cold (40 and windy) but it was worth it to be able to watch the seniors play their last game at Spartan Stadium. They pulled out another win. Now, they have a by week and then it is on to Penn State. Pray to the football gods that somehow, MSU can win against the Nittany Lions. It would be so awesome to be a Big Ten championship again.

Oh yeh, IT IS FUCKING SNOWING. Gaaah!!!! I am going to have to go buy Emma like a 1000 pairs of leggings or something because she refuses to wear pants, in winter... in Michigan. Shoot me.

OK the following is just going to be me being a petty bitch.

I have this "friend" that is pregnant. I hope that she gains like a million pounds. I am sure that she is dying for a girl. I hope that it is a boy. I know that it seems silly, but she hasn't been the greatest of friends lately. I am tired of her getting everything that she wants. Of course, she meets a guy after me, and gets engaged and married first. Boom, less than 3 months later she is pregnant. Ugh. Btw, not totally sure that I will be going to her baby shower. I don't want to at all. I don't want to watch people ooh and aah over her. I got the message (yup message) that she was pregnant via myspace. Seriously. Kiss my ass.