getting it off my chest.

I interact with more than a handful of people on a regular basis. I have a job where it is the same staff and the same group of regulars. It is really sad when one of those people turn on you. I had a friend, a really good friend at a point in time. Somewhere in the last few months something changed. That person started getting short, snotty and rude with me. I can't pinpoint what shifted the change, but it has gotten ugly. So ugly that she is one of the main reasons I quit my job. It had gotten to a point that strangers were commenting whenever there was any type of interaction between the two of us. I was (and am) bound and determined to not let others know how I am truly feeling about the situation. (Well, besides the very few people that I have very close personal relationships with, and the owners of the company.) When I put in my notice, I felt that as a person in a management position that it was imperative that I voiced my displeasure, as this person is technically above me. I probably should have just shut my mouth and let her find out some other way. My time at work has been gut wrenching. I physically feel like vomitting when I walk into work. The first week, I was completely ignored. COMPLETELY. I would ask a direct question, or make a statement and get met with a blank glare or have her walk away mid sentence. Any communication was done through a third party. I mean seriously, how old are we? We are both about to be 30 and I am getting the silent treatment. Week 2 was even worse, she was making small talk. I think that it was worse because she would say something to me and then walk away giggling with someone else. It is a total mind fuck. I can't wait for my remaining days to play out. Oh did I mention that her significant other works there too? It is just a walk in the park. Ugh.

Step 1

My resume has been sent to my friend that works at the company I am hoping to work for. Next step, application, testing and interview. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

ugly, no good, rotten day

I am officially over Mondays. Today has been not good. Work is trying to say the least. I want to scream, vent, yell. It won't do me any good, so I just suck it up. 13 more days... 13 more days.

Just a typical Sunday afternoon

10/10/10 just another day right? Well, sort of. I spent my Sunday afternoon meeting Stevie Wonder, musical legend. :) No big deal.

pardon me...

Pardon me for a second while I am an asshole.

I understand that we went through a really traumatic event. Maybe it hasn't even hit me fully. Yes, I cried. I was a basket case for 2 days. Then, I just stopped crying. I haven't cried once since about the whole thing. I snapped out of whatever it was and have been moving on. Yes, I have had anxiety issues, but I do the best I can and move on. With that said... dear boyfriend of mine, I am so tired of hearing about your lack of sense of smell/taste since the incident. I am not blowing it off, but if you refuse to do anything about it. I refuse to hear about it anymore. You had a panic attack when we were cleaning out the storage unit. You were in a closed up van and the smell got to you. I get it, I really do. Your body's way of coping is to shut down your sense of smell. I am not a doctor of any sort but it seems pretty damn logical to me. The options you have to fix it are going to involve medication and/or therapy of some sort. I am just losing my ability to be sympathetic to you if you won't do anything about it. There are only so many times I can listen to you talk about it before I lose it. The topic is wearing oh so thin with me right now.

The details.

I was unhappy at my job. I was tired, really, really tired. So, I did something about it. I quit. I quit because I am ready to have a big kid job. I am ready to get up in the morning and be a contributing member of society. I am ready for a steady paycheck and benefits. I was tired of being treated like I didn't matter. As the fact that I have quit has sunk in, I am really, really happy with it. My decision was made purely for me. I finally stuck up for me. Granted it took me having a near breakdown in Walmart to realize it. It took a sick baby with a fever and a mishap at the pharmacy to realize how much I couldn't handle it anymore. It took screaming and crying to realize that my happiness is not worth a job. I shouldn't have to cry about my job. A shitty paying job at that. I haven't ever gotten a raise, in the almost 7 years that I have been there. I work terrible hours. I am over it and done. Oh and that shittiness that I was expecting because of it. Yeah, pretty sure that my last few weeks are going to be terrible. I am already dreading going in and dealing with it. I am better than it, so I will grit my teeth and bare it. At the end of the day, I still did it. :)

one big step...

I quit my job. I should say that I gave my notice, I gave more than 2 weeks to be nice but I did it. It had gotten to a nasty point. I hated every second that I was there. I hated being disrespected and treated like crap. So, I quit. No I don't have a job... yet. I am working on my resume and have a job to apply to. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
When I gave my notice to the owner I also let them know why, specifically. I have a feeling that this will cause my last weeks there to be very uncomfortable. I am on the verge of a panic attack and there is nothing that I can do about it. I am not the greatest with confrontation, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to have to defend myself/try and ignore a barrage of comments and heckles. I know what I did is the right thing, but that doesn't make this feeling in the pit of my stomach go away. The kicker is that I am not the only one that felt this way, but I will be targeted. In fact as I was writing this it started. I am trying to remain professional, but it is really hard when I feel like I am being bullied for doing what I thought was necessary.